When I was first introduced to her, sometime during the day on December 30th, I never dreamed we would be this close. She became a reliable companion. She was always there to talk to me during the middle of the night. We have laughed together. Well, at least people have laughed at me when we were together. We have cried together. And I guess that isn't exactly correct either. I was the one doing the crying due to the extreme pain she has caused over the past year. Wait a minute, maybe we aren't as good of friends as I thought... Hmmm?!? Anyway, she went to Orlando. To Disney World. We have spent time hanging out in nearly every room of this house. We have spent time together in the homes of others, for that matter. We have been together in the car, parked and in motion. I have been with her EVERY SINGLE DAY for almost a year. At first, it was 8-12 times a day. Then there were a few weeks that we only hung out 2-3 times a day. That ended when I went off on the deep end, mentally speaking, and she was there to pick up the pieces and help me carry on...10-12 times a day...again. Who is this "mystery" friend I am speaking of? I am pretty sure you know her name...
My daily companion is about to get the boot!!!!! The Malone Dairy is about to close shop, people!!! No more shields. No more shield connectors. No more tubing. No more yellow valves. No more white membranes. No more stylish black shoulder bag. No more car adapter or wall plug. No more Easy Expressions hands-free garment. No more cleaning. No more sterilizing bags. It will all be packed away!
One would think I should be THRILLED to say "goodbye". In a way, I am. But there is a tiny, little part of me that doesn't want the Malone Dairy to close shop. Maybe it is the fact that there was a dairy farm in the family past. I have vivid memories of my uncle and cousins running a dairy in Mississippi. Or maybe it is the knowledge that people actually get paid to donate milk to milk banks! Are you telling me I can make $500 a week to pump?!?! I mean, that isn't THAT bad of a job... The truth is this: it is so stinking hard to accept another chapter of my baby's life is over. Bottom line. He doesn't "need" me anymore. He will be just fine to have a sippy cup full of Daisy's milk. Why is it so hard to let my "baby" go? I am not sure. But soon enough, I will.
At my "prime", I was getting 32 ounces a day. I have now cut back to 2x/day and get about 20 ounces or so. I suppose I should work my way down to once a week at this point. And then...I will have to pack Medela away and bid her adieu. I am trying to take it slowly to ease my discomfort in the end. I have heard Sudafed and ace bandages will help. I have 'been there and done that" with cabbage in the past. Emotionally, I can't go there again. So we will just have to see how it goes. Wish me luck!!!
Daddy Daughter Dance
2 years ago