There is symbolism throughout the room. The ceiling is painted blue, like the sky. The draperies display the leaves of the trees. Birds are on the mirror. They are hanging from the ceiling. One is embroidered on the pillow. Their eggs hang on the wall. God's creation. In my arms. In his room.
When we lost Finley, nights were the most difficult. I would wake up in a panic, heartbroken and full of anxiety. Lucy gave me a Fernando Ortega CD and suggested I listen to "Jesus King of Angels." As soon as I was alone, I listened for the first time. Oh, the tears that flowed. The song was for me. She was my sparrow. And then, less than a year later, there would be another sparrow.
I haven't listened to this song in over a year. The emotions it stirs are so raw. I listened today, as I held Crosby close. Joy and sorrow all at once. The tears came quickly. I have found joy in this life once again. But I will never forget the sorrow. I will be reminded of the girls each time I enter his room. I will never forget. My sparrows. My angels. Though it was not planned, it was brought to my attention that their initials are in his. How fitting.
Thank you for this room.
Here is the song. Listen if you would like...