Baby Salza Update

Please, please pray for Shellie and Baby Boy Salza. We need her cervix to hold on as long as possible...

Due Date

Blake and I were lying here last night and I said, "Isn't it crazy that I could still be pregnant?" We both just smiled. I can't imagine still having Crosby inside the womb. Technically speaking, this is the day Crosby should have arrived! Most babies don't come on their due date, and this little one came much closer to his due date than we ever imagined. In all the stress of the pregnancy, I scarcely thought of my "due date" and rarely made reference to it. But, today is that day! I thought it would be appropriate to share "The Story" on this day...

It all started on Sunday, December 28th. It was my third day off bedrest and I was ready to get out of this house. We started the day at church. All I was able to do for 18 weeks was listen to the service online. It was nice to have that option but it is not quite the same as being there. It was great to be amongst the masses and to participate in worship once again. There were a few Christmas songs sung which made it feel like Christmas! Because I didn't know how my strength would hold up, we sat in the back near an exit...just in case. I know, your thinking, "all you had to do was sit in a pew!!??!" But let me tell you, sitting upright was quite the feat for the muscles in my back! And we did have to sit, stand, sit, stand a few times!! Anyway, I did fine and made it through the entire service without issue.

I did so well, that I talked Blake into taking me to Target to pick up a few things I needed for my hospital bag. I had been trying to get to Target for weeks. It was thrilling to walk through those doors once again. Ahhh, the smell of Target. (It does have it's own smell you know...) I managed to spend 15-20 minutes wandering the isles before I headed to checkout. Blake just let me browse all I wanted just because he was glad for me to be on my feet. As we were heading to the car, we got a call from his parents, who just happened to be in the area. Would we like to have lunch? Sure, we would. I am off bedrest and I am going to live this up.

We headed to Guido's in Cool Springs for a little Italian cuisine. We selected a spicy barbecue chicken. Key word spicy!! By this point, it had been 6 hours since I had lain on a flat surface and my back was starting to feel it. So we headed home. I finally sat on the couch and propped my feet up. It felt good to be down again. There it was. The familiar tightening going on with my uterus. It was no more intense than before. Yet, after paying attention, I noticed they were coming nearly 3 minutes apart. Hummm? Most people would remain in a reclined position, drink water and rest for the day. After an hour of the same ole same ole, I decided we should take the dog on a short walk. I hadn't done that in ages and it sounded fun. Not to mention I had looked into Nugget's sad eyes for weeks, yearning for me to take him outdoors. He didn't understand why all I ever did was lay on the couch!! While we walked, I continued to notice the contractions...close, but no change in intensity. As we approached the house, I suggested we take down the Christmas decorations from around the door. Better yet, why don't we just take down the tree and everything??? So we did just that. I sat while Blake had the painstaking chore of removing the lights. The contractions seemed to be a little less frequent at this point, so I stopped timing them.

Once the task was complete and all decorations were put away, we sat down for dinner. Sure enough, the contractions were still there and still about 3 minutes apart. And the intensity seemed to be picking up a bit. But is this really worth calling about? Nah. We piddled around a bit more and I became a little more uncomfortable. Knowing it would have to get a lot worse before I could truly be in labor, I just gave it more time. By 10:45, things seemed to progress a bit. I will leave out details but another symptom caught my attention. Blake convinced me to call for Dr. B's sake. We didn't want to wake him in the middle of the night! After discussing the situation, he wanted me to head to the hospital.

Blake and I gathered the bags that had been packed, unpacked, and packed again. We drove to Baptist as we had many times before. No stress. Just wondering if this would be another false alarm. Or would we meet or son this trip? Once we arrived and I was registered, we were taken to a labor and delivery room. I felt good. Contractions were consistent but nothing I couldn't manage. Dr. B wanted the nurse to check to see if I was dilated. Sure enough, 3-4 cm!! This WAS it!! I would not be going home. We were going to have a baby!!! Our little boy would be with us very soon!! Although he would be early, 4 weeks and 2 days to be exact, we were not worried. There was a peace in our room that night. God knew he would be born this day. This was no surprise to Him and we were ready to meet the child He had so graciously given to us.

I was hooked up to monitors and an IV was started. The nurse asked if I was planning to have an epidural. There was no question in my mind. My deliveries with Finley and Caroline were difficult and painful. I wanted this time to be different. My prayer was that I would be able to enjoy every moment of this baby's birth. No pain. No heartache. I wanted an epidural. It was placed around 2:30 and left me feeling...nothing!! Praise the Lord! I was only dilated to 5 cm at that point so the nurse suggested Blake and I try to get a little sleep. I closed my eyes to "rest" but there was no sleep for me. I was too excited to finally meet the sweet baby I had been carrying for so long.

We kept waiting for things to progress before we called family and friends to let them know the time was near. When Dr. B checked in around 6:30, I was only 5-6 cm. We decided to go ahead and make the calls anyway. Blake's dad, along with several of our friends, had "requested" I not go into labor until Monday. They got their wish and their call bright and early Monday morning! Our parents were at the hospital within the hour. Friends started making their way to the waiting room, as well. Around 8:30, Dr. B found me to be 6 cm dilated and decided to break my water. He also added a little pitocin about an hour later. However, our little man's heartrate decided to drop when it was started. So it had to be stopped soon thereafter. It didn't matter because things were progressing anyway!

Dr. B came back to check on me within 2 hours. Our parents and friends had to clear the room at that point, leaving me Blake, Dr. B and a nurse. He checked to see where things stood and much to our surprise, I was 10 cm dilated. We were ready to have our baby.

The delivery could not have gone any better for me. Sweet Crosby was "sunny side up" making things a little more difficult on him and supposedly on me but I sure couldn't tell! 40 minutes later, Dr. B was holding our little boy and Blake was cutting the cord. All I remember is the most precious cry coming from that sweet baby's lungs and I was at peace. The tears began to fall as I thanked the Lord for a new story, for this new life. Crosby was quickly swept away to be assessed by the NICU team, including a nurse who happens to be a client at the vet clinic. She stayed past her shift to be with our sweet boy. What a precious gift. It was then they noticed his "grunting" and decided it best he be taken to the transitional nursery for further observation. Blake was able to bring Crosby to me for 30 seconds or so before he walked him back to the nursery. I was left with Dr. B and the nurses while Blake was with Crosby. Once Dr. B was finished with me, he stripped off his gown and gloves, came to the bedside, reached over and gave me the biggest hug. He commented that he had been praying for this day for me and Blake. He was so happy to be a part of the moment. All I could do was thank him through my tears. It was such a special time for us all.

I was left in the room alone until Blake returned with a huge smile on his face. He gave me the latest update on Crosby and showed me all the pictures he had taken. I asked if he had seen our families and he looked a bit shocked. He hadn't even walked out to tell them the news! The next thing I know, he was out the door again, going to fill everyone in!

I think you know the rest. As I stated, I could not have asked for a better delivery. Sure, it would have been great to have Crosby place on my chest and cleaned up like all the deliveries on TLC. But beggers can't be choosers!! I had zero pain when he was born which was such a relief. But more than anything, I delivered a healthy baby boy, who was alive and breathing on his own. I can handle a little grunting...and a little jaundice...and lack of body temp regulation. It all worked out in the end. Here I sit, on his due date, with him in my arms. I could not have asked for a better story...

Sleepy Faces

Watching Crosby fall asleep is one of my favorite things to do. The faces he makes while drifting off to sleep are priceless. I thought I would capture a few to share...

And then he is off to sleep! Watching the process is so sweet...

* See post below*

Petition

There are three families that could use your prayers. I added a blog list on the left-hand side of the page. Links to these blogs can be found there. I will give a brief summary of each story...

Salza Family: I met Shellie through my blog. She lost a little boy, Isaac, soon after I lost Finley. She then lost a little girl, Paisley,one month after I lost Caroline. She is now 24 weeks and 1 day pregnant and has just been admitted due to problems over the weekend. We have walked a similar path and have connected in a special way. She has fervently prayed for me and I want to do the same for her. I am asking that you would lift this little boy to the Lord as you did for Crosby. Shellie and I both know there is power in prayer...

Blessings: I met Melissa while waiting for an ultrasound this summer. She lost her first child, James, at 30 weeks, a few short weeks after losing Caroline. After a difficult pregnancy, his little sister joined us 2 weeks ago, at 32 weeks gestation. She is doing well but is currently in the NICU at Baptist. Melissa and Wade came to visit me in the hospital and were a constant source of support for me during my pregnancy. Please pray that Margaret Belle will be able to feed from a bottle/breast and gain the weight needed to go home. Melissa and Wade believe in the power of prayer...

Here's Our Story...: The Tuleys go to the Malone's church. Julie also teaches with a member of my small group. Their little boy, Jacob, was diagnosed with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia at a 20 week ultrasound. They were given a very poor prognosis. However, little Jacob was born last night, via C-section and is defying the odds. While his condition is very serious and they are by no means "out of the woods," he is fighting. I have never met the Tuleys, but they believe in the power of their Lord. I know they would appreciate any and all prayer for Jacob and their family...

You have been so faithful to pray for our family. I come to you again, asking that you would say a prayer for these families. They are heavy on my heart today. Stop by and offer a word of encouragement if you can. Thank you!

Mondays With Crosby

At 11:24am, Crosby Fox turned 4 weeks old. Does that make him one month old? Or do we wait until January 29th to call him one month old? Oh dear...how confusing!! Either way you look at it, time is flying by! I have been told these are "long days and short years." I must agree...

We are being spoiled with a sweet baby. Crosby continues to sleep most of the time but has started to wake up a little more. As a matter of fact, I am starting this post later than I had planned because someone has been wide eyed for the past 4 1/2 hours!!! That is a LONG time to see those baby blues staring back at me. I am sorry, but I just can't put him down when those eyes are open! We have lots to talk about during that time! :) We still only hear him cry when he is hungry or when his diaper is being changed. Other than that, he is one peaceful little boy!

Since we came home, I have had the typical new mom worries. Is he eating enough? Is he gaining the appropriate weight? Is his jaundice clearing up? So on and so forth... To put my mind at ease, I set up an lactation consult for Wednesday, the 21st. We got an unofficial weight of Crosby a few days before. According to the scale at the vet clinic, our little guy was up to 6 pounds and a 1/2 ounce on Saturday, 17th. Once we got to our appointment, his initial weight was 6 pounds and 4 ounces. Yay!!! After eating for a total of 20 minutes, he had taken in 2 ounces! Wow!!! We ARE doing things right!! What a relief to know he is adjusting well to life outside the womb and is taking in plenty at this point. We will go back for a follow up this Wednesday so I will have to update you on his progress then!

The past week has been really busy. Crosby and I were out and about almost everyday. Why? We had a shower on Saturday and I had NOTHING to wear. I know, you are thinking, "that is what all females say...she has something to wear in her closet...she just wanted something new." Keep in mind this is the 3rd winter in a row that I have been pregnant. I only purchased maternity clothes up until my losses. After losing the girls, the last thing I felt like doing was shopping. I just lived in work clothes and PJ's. So, it is true. My closet it pathetically out of date and with nothing to fit the postpartum figure! Seeing how I am a terrible shopper and extremely indecisive, it took 4 days for me to finally decide on something. Now I just have 4 items to return. Lovely! I soooo need a Stacy and Clinton... Little Crosby goes right along with me like a perfect little angel. He stays in his car seat with his Cozy Cover all zipped up! I have tons of pictures to sort through from the shower. You will see those very soon!

Crosby got a bathtub this week. He looked so tiny once inside. Of course I had to put him in it right away...with clothes on...

Another big milestone was seeing our new insurance card with his name added!!! Crosby is officially covered by Aetna!

Then there is a shot of real bath time. He definitely prefers the tub to a sponge bath or the sink.

My sweet baby looks precious while lying in the sun. His yellow tint has improved significantly over the past week. If only the sun would stay out...

A friend (V.R.B) gave me a book with a quote that sums it up...

"Making the decision to have a child...is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your

heart go walking around outside your body." Elizabeth Stone

He may not be walking yet, but he had my heart from the moment his little life began. I am in love with this little boy...

Mondays With Crosby

Somebody is getting too big for his britches!! This was one of the only outfits that truly fit Crosby well when he came home. The pants don't look so bad when he is all scrunched up. But once he kicks those legs out straight...it is pretty clear! And the shirt speaks for itself. When you have to sag the pants to accommodate for leg length, only to reveal half of the belly, you know it's time to place this one in retirement. It makes me want to cry. I want him to get bigger for health's sake but I want him to stay small for mine!

We took Crosby to the vet clinic on Saturday for a weight check. He was up to 6 lbs and 1/2 oz! We are getting to see more and more of his blue eyes every day. Today he has shared them with us for nearly 6 hours!!! He has finally started to wake up a little more. I know his vision is limited but it sure is sweet to have him looking up at me when I talk.

Just a random picture of us. I had to be selfless with this post. I am used to making sure I look decent in the picture. Well, this was the LEAST flattering of me but I thought Crosby looked pretty sweet. It's all about Crosby now!!!

I am working on a few posts so more to come later this week!

Special Appointment

Thursday was a special occasion for our family. Crosby was finally able to meet the man that helped bring him into this world...Dr. B! Not to confuse anyone. Dr. B was there to deliver our little guy. But Crosby was quickly whisked away by the NICU team and Dr. B did not get the chance to really hold him.

I cannot tell you how sweet it was to see our baby in his arms. We have been through so much together that it was almost as if Crosby was meeting a part of the family. Dr. B held him, loved him and kissed his tiny head with such open affection and compassion. Most people don't return to their OB until 6 weeks after delivery. I am sure Dr. B came up with some legitimate way to code the visit, medically speaking that is. Like, "She needs a check up because she is on Lovenox and at an increased risk for clotting." While that is true, I am fairly confident my appointment was more about getting his hands on our son. Another "melt my heart" moment...

He commented how good it felt to see my name on his schedule for a regular, postpartum visit. No sorrow. No tears. No sadness. Just joy. Complete and utter joy.

As we were checking out, we ran into another special person. Shawn (I can put her name on here because she has commented before... :) ) was Dr. B's temporary nurse. I was fortunate to have her for the first 27 weeks of my pregnancy. She was responsible for giving my weekly progesterone injection. She was out of the office from 28 weeks on. I was thrilled to see her walk through the door once again! She was eager to get her hands on Crosby as well.

K was the medical assistant who walked me back on a weekly/biweekly basis. After she took my blood pressure and weight, she would call Shawn to let her know I was ready for my shot. We had quite the system. I loved seeing K's smiling face every week! It might have been a little bigger when she saw us come in with Crosby in tow!

Finally there is Nurse M. She took over as Dr. B's permanent nurse. She gave my injections the later portion of my pregnancy. She was excited to meet the new addition as well.

It might seem I am a little over the top for Dr. B and his office. Maybe so. But these people mean the world to me. They were dedicated to getting Crosby here safe and sound. I could call with any question, at any time. No concern was taken lightly. If I needed encouragement, they were there to give it. I cannot imagine having walked this path with another medical team. I love my doctor and his staff and thank God for their presence in our lives. What a blessing they have been to us. There are not enough words to express our gratitude to them. But, for what it is worth, we are forever grateful...

Mondays With Crosby

Crosby turned 2 weeks old today at 11:24am. We had another appointment with his peditrician today. Our little guy checked out just fine. He is now measuring 19.75 inches in length but he is only weighing 5 pounds and 12 ounces. Dr. P isn't concerned about his weight, stating that last weeks 7 ounce gain in 48 hours was probably a fluke...full bladder, full GI tract!! Of course, I am taking it a little hard, wanting him to gain weight and feeling responsible for his growth. But, if the doctor isn't concerned, I will try to relax as well.

Crosby has started to wake up a bit more this week. I would perfer that not happen between 1am-4am but what can you do! His umbilical cord fell off. I found myself a bit emotional when it happened. Strange...I know. But that was our connection... Anyway, we are clear for a real bath. I am excited to see how he responds to that. Hopefully he will like it better than the sponge bath. We'll see soon enough!

I wanted to take a few perspective pictures . The plan is to take the same pictures every month to see how much he has grown. Here is round one at 2 weeks!

Crosby's Room

As I walked up the stairs, with Crosby in my arms, I could feel the tears coming. It was really happening. I was carrying my baby into his room for the first time. It was everything I dreamed of and more...

There is symbolism throughout the room. The ceiling is painted blue, like the sky. The draperies display the leaves of the trees. Birds are on the mirror. They are hanging from the ceiling. One is embroidered on the pillow. Their eggs hang on the wall. God's creation. In my arms. In his room.

When we lost Finley, nights were the most difficult. I would wake up in a panic, heartbroken and full of anxiety. Lucy gave me a Fernando Ortega CD and suggested I listen to "Jesus King of Angels." As soon as I was alone, I listened for the first time. Oh, the tears that flowed. The song was for me. She was my sparrow. And then, less than a year later, there would be another sparrow.

I haven't listened to this song in over a year. The emotions it stirs are so raw. I listened today, as I held Crosby close. Joy and sorrow all at once. The tears came quickly. I have found joy in this life once again. But I will never forget the sorrow. I will be reminded of the girls each time I enter his room. I will never forget. My sparrows. My angels. Though it was not planned, it was brought to my attention that their initials are in his. How fitting.

Thank you for this room.

Here is the song. Listen if you would like...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEijLTB1a84

little miracle; flashdance; brothers

The onesie speaks for itself...

No pants matched. Blake made leg warmers out of socks...

Nugget with his baby brother...

Melts my heart...

Mondays With Crosby

Our little guy officially turned 1 week old at 11:24am!! Part of me wants to cry because the first week is already over. I just want the clock to stop so I can soak in each and every second with Crosby. He is just precious...and I am not just saying that because he is mine...he is... :)

His first week outside the womb was a bit of a whirlwind...to say the least. His stay in the NICU lasted a little longer than expected. Fortunately we were able to see him often. Visiting hours are pretty flexible in the NICU. They are only closed from 6-8 am, 12:30-1:30pm and 6-8pm. We were given 4 passes to distribute as we chose to family/friends. Our parents were able to visit him multiple times as well. There were a few set backs along the way. Of course there was the initially respiratory issue of grunting. Then the little guy had difficulty maintaining his body temperature. We, along with the staff, realized his area of the unit was a bit drafty, likely keeping him cool. The last hurdle was a bout of jaundice. It sort of felt like 2 steps forward and then 1 step back. Not to complain. We are thrilled that his issues were relatively common and easily treated.

Crosby has now survived the first 60 hours with his parents being "in charge". We were able to room in the NICU on Saturday night and he was perfect for us. He barely made a sound all night long. We had to wake him up to eat every 3 hours. Sunday morning, Dr. Rojas (neonatologist) came in and completed an examination before signing the discharge paperwork. His bilirubin was still elevated but that was expected. The doctor anticipates it will drop on its on. Just to be safe, we will see the pediatrician tomorrow and have his levels drawn again. We are praying that they have continued to trend downward.

Of course there are a few pictures to document the last few days!

Last time at his NICU station...

Dressed for the night in his preemie gown...

Dr. Rojas completing his exam...



Danielle...Caroline and Crosby's nurse...

Tiny baby in a big car seat...

Swaddled up in his cradle at HOME!!

Sweet face...

As for coming home, we were thrilled to finally show off this little miracle to more of the family. The ones without passes!!! A sweet friend, Jessica, and her husband Wes, flew in for the occasion. She is a photographer and wanted to take pictures of the big day. She was there when we walked in the door. She was there when I saw his room for the first time! That will be a post in and of itself but for now...a few sneak peeks!!!

All I will say is the room is TO DIE FOR!!!

*if there are tons of grammatical errors, forgive me. No time to proofread...