Sunday, April 4, 2010

3 years

It was a good day. A beautiful day. An AMAZING church service. We sang In Christ Alone. One of my favorites. We sang it 3 years ago on Easter Sunday. The words get me every time. Especially this verse...

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
I fell apart when we got to that verse 3 years ago. From life's first cry, to final breath. She never had the chance to take that breath. She was gone before she was given the opportunity. Sometimes, I would prefer to live there. Never hear the rest of the song. I would rather remain in the sorrow because I don't want to move on. I never want life to move on from her. For her to be forgotten. But the song continues on. Jesus commands my destiny. As much as I want to remain in sorrow, He has plans for me. For this life. And what relief it brings my soul to know that no matter how much I question and fight with the past, no power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand. Thank you Lord. Walking the path of grief can surely make one feel there is no way He could love me. But He does. Clearly the One who willingly sent His only son to die for me, loves me. What an amazing love. A love this mother cannot understand. To willingly give her. Her sister. For the sake of others. I am fairly certain I don't know that kind of love. But HE does. And it is because of that love that I can know, I will see her again one day. I will see her sister. So for now, here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
Happy Resurrection Sunday. Happy Birthday Finley Grace...

5 comments:

Courtney said...

You are a blessing to my life, Danielle. Happy birthday to your sweet Finley! I rejoice with you in the promise that you will be with her again soon.
Much love,
Courtney

Amy Sewell said...

Powerful entry Danielle. Your family is precious and what a joy to know that you and Blake WILL see those sweet girls again one day. We love you all!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful....

Jill Fields said...

We sang it at church, too...and like I do everytime I hear it, I think about you and your girls and get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Billy even looks over at me or squeezes my hand everytime the first words come on the screen. I've told him about it's meaning to you, and now as a mother myself, it means even more to me. I CANNOT get over the tremendous strength of going on after losing a child(ren), but you put it so beautifully that Jesus does command our destiny...precious. I know the saints are holding them tightly awaiting your reunion one day. And sweet Crosby, what a gift he has in a mother like you...Happy Easter and Happy Birthday, friend!

Melissa said...

Crosby has two precious angels watching over him! Beautiful words, Danielle! We love you-The Ricks