Saturday, March 1, 2008

Back Home

It's Danielle this time. Blake and other family members have taken the responsibility of keeping everyone updated thus far. I wanted to be able to talk to each and every one of you so much, but circumstances made it difficult to do so.
I feel compelled to try and say something at this point. I must admit that words are hard to find, but I need to get some thoughts out and this seems like a good place for me to do it. I feel it will be helpful in some ways. I am not one to keep my feelings and emotions inside, as most of you know.
We have been home for nearly 24 hours at this point. Things have been eerily similar to April 5th of last year. Blake and I both had this thought earlier. The weather was cold and gloomy the day we were discharged from Baptist. The next morning we were greeted by the sunshine. My parents were here, and we all sat outside enjoying the warmth and watching our dog Nugget in the yard. Here we are, not even one year later, doing the same thing. The scene is only changed by a new cat, Olive, keeping us and Nugget entertained in the yard. An overwhelming feeling of sorrow exists but we are able to function pretty well. We have cried some but we have laughed quite a bit, too. Best I can remember, it will take a few days for the reality of the situation to sink in. We were given a few days where our heads could just float in the clouds; numb to the depth of the pain to come. For now, we are being sustained.
There have been many prayers answered over the past few days and we acknowledge them. We have felt God's presence, but we are in complete shock of the events of this week. I cannot believe that we are in this boat, again. It was so incredibly hard to let Finley go. But now, to place Caroline in the hands of our Lord, is almost too much for us to bear.
We are okay. We are so thankful for family and friends. We are thankful for our faith. Like Blake said before, there are many questions that may go unanswered. We will try our best to trust in the sovereignity of our Father. We appreciate all the comments we have received. They are very encouraging to both of us.
I am not sure what will happen to the blog. It may actually benefit me to share my thoughts in the upcoming days, weeks, months. We'll see. I do want to let you all know that we are planning to have a memorial service in honor of our precious, little girl. It is tentatively scheduled for the afternoon of next Saturday, March 8th. We will pass along final plans for anyone who wishes to come.
Thanks for your prayers. Please keep them flowing. We need them now more than ever.
Much love-Danielle

19 comments:

Boothe Farley said...

blake and danielle-
it seems silly to sit here and hope that anything i type on this keyboard will ever, ever make a difference or comfort you in any way. it seems silly because i, too, have lost babies... one, early on, considered an early miscarriage, after we had seen the heartbeat and become excited about what it would be to hold that child... and another, after the baby was born... eight days later. each died of chromosomal abnormalities. i want you to know that if there's any component to your pain that i can understand it's the routine of it. when you said that it is hard for you to believe that you are back in this same boat, not even a year after you lost your first, i can appreciate that. when you said that it feels like too much to bear, i can appreciate that. there is a cruelty in what you are facing, make no mistake. i, too, can appreciate wanting and thirsting to hang onto the Lord in this midst of this.

during the journey my husband and i walked with the imminent loss of our daughter, copeland, i kept a blog. i don't want you to feel obligated to read it, and i don't know that if you do, it'll mean anything to you. but i want you to know that my hope is that you will know, without a doubt, that you are not alone.

we are praying... let us carry some of your burden.

with love-
conor, boothe and sellers farley
conorbootheandgirls.blogspot.com

(p.s. - we live in nashville... you mentioned baptist and i wondered if you did, too?)

Anonymous said...

danielle and blake,
we are praying and wanting to take some of your pain away. it is good to hear from you, danielle.
we appreciate your ability to share your pain and faith with us.
hope to hug you guys soon. keep us posted on the service.
we love you-adam and jaclyn

Anonymous said...

Danielle,
I am so sorry for your loss. As others have written, I cannot get you and your family off of my mind. Words cannot express how sorry I am, and I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better. I know God has plans for you both although at this time it seems uncertain. I am praying for you and your family and hope as the days pass God will give you strength and will allow you to heal.
Lots of Love- Melanie

Anonymous said...

Blake and Danielle,

Please cling to our very real Lord Jesus and know that the Resurrection conquered this situation before it happened. And ultimately, I encourage you to praise Him for His mysterious grace and sovereingnty.

ALL praise to our Redeemer!!!

Shelley said...

Danielle,

You are such a wonderful mother. Even though you may not feel it, you are so very strong. The love you have for your child is so abundant and powerful. It is difficult to imagine that our Lord loves each of us even more than that. He is faithful. You and Blake are and have been such a witness to everyone. Finley and Caroline were blessed to have you both as their parents. Now that I am a mother, I can understand that type of love...it is undescribable! I ache in sorrow and sadness for you and Blake. Since you have moved to Nashville, my life has been blessed. I am thankful that our paths have met as your are such a wonderful friend to me. You all are in our prayers and constant thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Blake and Danielle,
Frank and I were SO sorry to hear about little Caroline Grace! Tammie Freeman had notified us earlier in the week that you were in the hospital so we had been praying! I never know what to say at times like these...I do want both of you to know that we will be praying for you! And please let us know if we can do anything else! I know in my heart that one day there will be a precious little one in your home who you will get to love and nurture and watch grow into a wonderful person! I also envision a time where Danielle, you come home and have to "fuss" at Blake because this beloved child has magic marker all over him/her! (inside joke for those of you reading this who don't know us).
There will be hard days to come ---hang in there!
Praying for you,
Atresa
atresa@charter.net

Anonymous said...

Blake and Danielle:
Adrian and I want so badly to take your pain and grief away!!! We are so sorry. We don't understand and are hurting for you both. If ever there are two people who have so much to offer in raising a precious child in this world it is the two of you! I have to believe with all my heart that you will be given that opportunity. Hang on and hold on to Jesus and each another in the midst of this tremendous storm. You are in our continual prayers.
Love you both,
Tammie & Adrian

Terri L Tindall said...

I am a friend of LeAnne Autry and her family. I have had you in my prayers for days. I am deeply grieved over your loss. I not only suffered two miscarriages, my husband and I lost a 19 year old son eight years ago. I know your hurt. I know words do not ease your pain. I know God is eternal and He will get you through this. Lean into his everlasting arms. Share your burdens with your family and your church family. Even 6 months or a year from now. God did not create us to bear our burdens alone. My prayers continue to be with you. In Him,
Terri Tindall

Katey said...

Blake and Danielle-

I go to church with you and the service yesterday touched me so much. I lost a nephew to SIDS in September at two months, and that service brought back all of that grief and questioning. The words Julie spoke were the same words she said to me then, when I was hurting and questioning myself. But seeing you there was such an encouragement to me personally. You are so strong, and I can not even imagine the courage it took to be there. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

Katey Earles

Steve & Rebecca said...

Dear Blake & Danielle,
I've not met you, but I know Blake & Moria and they've asked for prayers on your behalf. I hope you don't mind, but I read your story and my heart is broken for you both. Our faith tells us of God's good plan, and I pray He makes it known to you to help ease your pain. You'll be in my daily prayers as you grieve your precious losses and by God's hand, move forward.
God bless,
Rebecca

Anonymous said...

Blake and Danielle-I just wanted to reach out and let you know I have been praying fervently for you. It has been such a hard few months with Grandmother Bess being sick and now learning your sad news. You showed such kindness to my friend a couple years ago when he needed a place to stay when his puppy was at Auburn and it touched me then. He and I no longer keep in touch but the fact that you would open your home to a total stranger is simply amazing. I have no doubt that your faith, your love and your kindness of spirit will sustain you. I love you both. Stephanie Brown

Anonymous said...

Blake & Danielle,
We are continuing to pray for you and your families. We are praying that God, as He often does, will bring something good out of something that appears bad to us.
May He be glorified.
Wilson & Betty Jo Daniel

Rachel said...

Danielle- Please let me know if you all need ANYTHING!

I know we've only met a few times, but I'm just up the street. You can get my contact info from Jac.

RP

Anonymous said...

Blake and Danielle,
Please know that your Auburn family is morning your loss and praying for your entire family. You are in our thoughts each day and we love you both so much!

Jonathan and Amanda

Anonymous said...

Blake and Danielle,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
You obviously have an amazing support system, and we join everyone praying for you. If we can do anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

Sarah and Patrick Gilliam
sarah.b.gilliam1@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Dear Danielle and Blake,
Once again you are on a journey of hope and faith. It's a journey through the dark valley that you did not want to embark upon again, but because you went on it as your sweet Findley Grace went to the Father's Arms, you will find this journey sadly familiar and yet at times even harder. You will also find that because each step of faith and each time the treasure of hope for endurance is found through letting the Lord Jesus Christ dwell even more deeply in you will bring you to a surer hope that God will be faithful. He cannot be found less than faithful...it would go against everything He is and everything He promises.
So as the song says "come and drink again." He is the Living Water! Call upon His Name...for He is listening! God hears our prayers, we matter to Him, He takes us seriously when we enter into His Presence and He turns to listen to us! He is our strong tower, and ever present hope in trouble and heartache. He is our refuge and secure dwelling place.
Joe and I and our family will continue to be with the Malone/Lipscomb family in prayer and heartfelt compassion as you now have dear baby Caroline Grace sweetly resting by her sister in our loving Heavenly Father's lap. When your time on earth is through you will be able to be with these little ones forever and ever and ever!
The Gobbles, Hights and James family love you all and are continuing to lift you to the Healing Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ!
Bettie and Joe Gobble

Anonymous said...

"Pursue His presence and live your whole life there."
A.W.Tozer

You guys don't know me...I went to tech and heard your story from Amy (Glover), but I am just heartbroken for you. You have been consistently on my heart since I first heard. Your faith is inspiring. I can't begin to understand your pain. I'm sorry I don't have anything to say of any value..I just wanted you to know that so many (even strangers) are praying for you and you are loved and lifted up.

Wesley McGowan

Adrian Freeman said...

Blake and Danielle- You continue in our prayers. We think of you often. Do you have memorial plans set yet? Adrian

Adrian Freeman said...

Blake and Danielle, you both continue in our our prayers. You are always in our thoughts.

Please let your friends know, via this blog, and email when the memorial service is going to be.
Love; Tammie and Adrian